Eluded Feelings of a Warrior
by KurokoiFuji792
Summary: [First Chapter]:: Desperado, from Gabrielle's POV. Songfic. To understand, one recalls on one's own personal views to set upon another's opinion. When in fact the other's opinion differentiates HIGHLY considering one's own personal views is very much so not a picture-perfect parallel of the other's background history. What we get: Introspective to put things. . . straight.


A/N: *hops in flicking tail side to side and purring* Yo! Back again and this time in an odd mood! Sooooooo, what'd'ya think's in store for you? Weeeeeell, I'd say it's something that is actually my truthful input actually PUT in a song fanfic! *smiles brightly as a 'kaching' sound plinks off in the background* . . . =.= And that means me unleashing the upper layers of my bad mood on ya guys! XD *laughs triumphantly* Don't worry, it won't scar you too much. *grins* Well, hang tight, sit back, relax, and don't worry if you're wondering, "0.o This author has changed. Whoa." XD I did, too. XD

DISCLAIMER: Xena: Warrior Princess _definitely_ doesn't belong to me, as well as the song _Desperado_ by the Eagles, but then again a gal can dream, right? *grins* I respect every person who had a hand in the makings of these brilliant entertainment thingamajiggies for the masses, and so if I even SOUND like I'm trying to dislike them. . . well, I'm crying over here 'cause that's not my intention. Ah. And 'Desperado'. Picture slow, heavenly guitar solo and a beat-up young girl with a low voice singing. *grins* No, that is not me, but have you ever had that feeling of listening to a god/goddess themselves when a person you know/don't know who sings like an angel just BREATHE OUT a song?! XD That. I want THAT when it comes to this song. XD Enough of me rambling- the following does not belong to me! XD

**Eluded Feelings of a Warrior: [Desperado]**

_Desperado, why don't you come to your senses? _

There's a ticking tonight. Not of the candle's elemental flame counting down the precious time of the melting wax. No. It's of you. I can see that familiar grit to your teeth, the loosening of your jaw as you try to control yourself; a searing red-hot blue glance at me, then that tick comes back to the set jut of your profile. I know I'm causing this. As a bard I have to take in my audience's reaction to me, or I'd be a failure of a long line of proud warriors who wield their pen with as much willpower as it takes one to wield the sword. Although this is different. You are definitely not just an audience, and I've gotten confident enough to say I'm not just a silly little farmgirl who snuck out after you when the snores from my sister could be heard all the way to Mount Olympus. No. You care for me. Why can't you accept it? No. You've accepted it. Why can't you _act_ on it? . . . Yes, I know. You're waiting for me. A me that can accept you, whole-heartedly. Ahhh, but you underestimate the young little girl who had idolized you for so long. I can, and have, through so many occasions, through each and every day and night. I've accepted you with my soul. Now come to your senses. Warrior.

_You been out ridin' fences for so long now_

Revolutionizing the world couldn't have been easier. Yet that was someone else's task now. Your task was to set off after your destiny in a desire to be free of the burden of your past. Even with no chance in Tartarus to be forgiven, you forge ahead, glinting chakram at your side and bloody sword rested warily in its sheath. How many you've protected with your sword- how many lives lost, on the sharp blade. How many nights I've watched you, listened to you, enraptured at the gentleness you give the glinting steel in the firelight as you glide the wetstone down, over a weapon that could as easily kill as it could save. You've saved me so many times. And you've faced this harsh world longer than I have.

_Oh, you're a hard one_

Damn you. Don't you understand I want to protect you? It wasn't enough in reaching out to you, touching you, holding you close and whispering that I had you. It brings about a feeling of empowerment, and I know, to you, vulnerability. But that's not what I'm after. I. . . I don't really know what I'm after. All I know is that I'll do whatever it takes to crack the many layers of your stubborn, hardheaded, infuriating, _damnable_ pride! Warrior. . . I love you.

_I know that you got your reasons_

Reasons I want to rip off like the tatters of my already-microscopic rags of clothing and roll on my back, imploring please, please. . . stop making me envious of your gods-be-damned bedroll and instead curl next to me. And could we just watch the stars? The thought of any intimacy with you has lost its sharp hunger, that raw edge of desperation only fantasies could conjur up in trying to sate the pang of ache. I sober knowing my selfishness in trying to get closer to you would only bring about my satisfaction. No matter, though; I've loved you without touch, without sight, without scent and sound. Even more so without knowing for sure if you love me back. What makes up for all of that, though, is faith. My faith will keep me strong, knowing that I will always have you, my impossibly loyal warrior. First and foremost. You truly are my friend.

_These things that are pleasin' you_

Never in my life had I wanted to kill a man. Do unspeakable things to him while his consciousness wavered between fainting and Morpheus' sinister realm of nightmares unleashed. A person's pain should make me shudder with revulsion. Instead I shiver with pleasure as I think about annhialating the one who could possibly steal you from me. Physical pain only isn't something I fear. It's your spiritual desire to be with someone else that make me want to curl up into a ball and hurt. Ironically enough, I don't want to die. There's also this twisted ray of light called hope that keeps peeking through the cracks of my despair, whispering that one day, maybe. Maybe it'll become my turn. Luckily every time that happens, you do something. The most damnably cute little thing, nothing out of the ordinary. But it makes me reign myself in, bring me to my own senses. I can hurt you. I refuse to do so.

_Can hurt you somehow._

So once you look me in the eyes, Xena of Amphipolis, really _look_ at me. . . you'll notice I'm not as desperate to get out and see the world as the girl you once found hightailing after you during every chase, every adventure. Why should I? I've found all I need in this world, Xena. Right there by being next to you. As a partner. As an equal. And damned well first and foremost as your friend. Of course, friends are known to have a mischievous side. I don't mind not proving that wrong. ;)

0.0.0

A/N: . . . *wicked grin* Warning, dear readers. . . I've changed. *chuckles darkly in amusement* As a person, I've experienced life's downs. Damn, thought I'd never get out of that rut. XD Now I know I always talk about writer's rut ((ooohh, now doesn't that sound like a kinky little lemon right there? XD)), but this was worse than that. This was called ADDICTION! *shivers in horror* XD It kept me from focusing. No, it FORCED me to focus to much. And so I took a chillax pill. I guess I never read the label with this huge DISCLAIMER of small-print side effects. Looks like it's taking its toll, and you guys are on the lucky ride, front seat, open window, at viewing my swirling inner turmoils with me as I write! XD Enjoy, peeps~! XD

A/N No. 2: *holds up two fingers in a peace sign* Duuuuude, just to tell ya- I'm woozy, yes, but from my first energy drink in my life from two days ago. *laughs cheekily* Coffee usually makes me pumped-up but then almost always sleepy, but THIS~! *brandishes mocha energy canned MONSTER drink thingy* XD I'm walkin' on sunshine, awww, yeah~! XD - But seriously. *adapts serious look* ^w^ I'm joking. *laughs evilly* Yes, now we will all know the TRUE author behind these fanfics- 'cause I'll also be putting more stuff up in disclaimers and for the ones of you out there wondering WHERE in Tartarus I'm getting my inspiration, muse and ideas. . . well, you'll get a small peek. *evil, gloating laughter*

A/N No. 3: . . . *facepalms* And I just _might_ have scared off all my readers. *grins innocently* Well, at least I got it all off my shoulders! XD XD XD Take care, people, jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! XD XD XD


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